A Guide to Writing Wedding Vows That Resonate
I remember preparing my vows for my wedding. I felt a mix of excitement, nerves, and so much love for my husband. Over time, I’ve realized the vows that stick with you aren’t the ones crafted to sound perfect—they’re the ones that feel true. A friend of mine reached out before her own wedding, asking for help putting her heart into words. I shared a set of simple questions I had used to write my own vows. They helped her slow down, reflect, and express the parts of her love story that mattered most.
If you’re staring at a blinking cursor or a blank notebook, here’s where you can start:
Before you met your partner, what did you think love was?
We all have our early definitions—movie scenes, family examples, tiny glimpses from books or friendships. Reflecting on who you were before falling in love helps you see how far your heart has traveled.
What has your partner taught you about love? About commitment?
Real love changes us in small, quiet ways. Maybe they’ve shown you patience you didn’t know you needed, or steadiness you didn’t know you’d lean on. Naming these things is powerful.
What makes them special to you?
This is where you get to zoom in on the way they laugh, show up, listen, soften, or protect. The little things are often the truest things.
When you imagine your life together—10 years, 20 years, 50 years—what do you see?
Close your eyes. Picture a home you’ve built together, routines, inside jokes, traditions, a life textured by ordinary days and extraordinary ones. What’s your hope for that future?
What promises can you offer that help create that life?
Vows aren't about perfection, they’re about intention. What can you genuinely promise to nurture, to grow, to remember?
And finally… how much do you love them?
This is the moment to wrap your arms around the heart of it all. Put into words the feeling that brought you here. It doesn’t have to be poetic. It just has to be yours. You'd be surprised how many couples forget to say "I love you" during their vows.
I hope these questions help you slow down, breathe, and listen to your own voice as you write your vows. Whether they end up long, short, funny, tender, or simple, your words will be perfect because they’re yours.
If you ever need another set of eyes or just someone to talk through the emotions with—you know where to find me!
Cheers,
Derya
Letter & Lens